Like what she likes.
Hate what she hates.
Make non-committal noises if you’re not quite sure if she likes it or hates it. Change the subject quickly.
If she asks your for your opinion about her outfit. For God’s sake, don’t look at the outfit or think about the answer. Just tell her it looks good. The faster your do this the better off you are. If she thinks you’re hesitating you’re a dead man.
If she’s in a bad mood and you think she’s about to pick a fight. Suggest she call her sister or mother. It’s better for them to fight with each other than for her to fight with you. Besides, your brother-in-law and father-in-law will owe you one (they get to avoid a fight as well). Make sure you point this out to them the next time you see them.
If your wife is telling you about an issue she’s having at work, with family, friends, etc… DO NOT attempt to solve the problem. Ever… Instead, make outraged noises at all the appropriate times.
If your wife has decided to remind you of any of your past mistakes, some men might consider this a good time to point out some of their wives indiscretions or foolhardy endeavors. This is a mistake. Be silent.
On your way home from work, your wife may ask you to stop by the Walgreens or CVS to pick up some gum (or a Vanity Fair or something). You may be tired and just want to get home. Remember that picking up gum will only take 5 minutes. Fights are never shorter than 30 minutes. Save yourself 25 minutes and get the damn gum.
I have a tool box. I like to keep my tools organized. Mostly so they fit in my tool box. Also so I can find them when I need them. If your wife is like mine she loves projects. She needs her own tool box. If she uses your tools there’s a good chance you will never find them again. Or you will find them slowly over a period of several weeks. Either way it is more efficient to get a tool box just for her. Also, hide your own tool box. That way she won’t dig into your tools when she can’t find hers. I have also taken this a step further and have also purchased a third toolbox. This one is kept in a very visible location. I pretend that it’s my main toolbox. This is a diversion. I sacrifice the tools in this box to protect the tools in my main toolbox.
If you’ve foolishly avoided following any or all of the steps above and manage to get into a fight. Quickly disengage. Also, quickly get on the phone with your wife’s best friend/sister/mother/etc… Tell them your side of the story, get them on your side. This way when your wife calls to vent about your argument, your wife’s best-friend/sister/mother/etc… will talk her down. If you fail to do this then they will commiserate with your wife and she will get angrier.
Guest Bloggers: Today’s post is written by Corrin’s husband Dave, and Christa’s husband Brad. We asked them to answer the following question:
“How can you make your wife happy?”
From Dave Wilcox:
How to keep your wife happy (at least with you)…
Corrin and I have been together for 9 years and married for almost 8. It’s not possible to be with someone that long and not learn a few things. For all those novices out there here are a few tips for keeping your woman happy. Trust me, I’m a professional.
The old cliché “Happy wife, happy life” has a lot of truth to it…
From Brad Wilson:
How to make your wife happy
It is a scientific fact, proven again and again throughout time, that men cannot make women happy. But without men, women are even less happy. So men have always attempted and always will attempt to make their women happy. While I cannot make my wife completely happy, I can try to make her happier than any other guy could. Here is how I do it.
I’m in sales. When trying to make the sale the first thing a salesperson must do is to get to know the prospective client. To do this you have to take an interest in the person and their company and you have to listen. A relationship with a woman is no different. In order for your relationship to work you have to know your partner. To do this you must take an interest in your woman and listen to her. If you don’t you will never really know your wife. And if you don’t know your wife you can’t know what makes her happy.
Every woman is different. And ALL women are different than men. My wife appreciates it when I recognize the things she does for our family. She likes when I comment on how clean the house is after she’s spent hours cleaning it. She also likes romance. Romance makes her feel special and loved. If you’ve read the book, Seven Languages of Love, my wife’s love language is “words of affirmation.”
Once you know WHAT makes your wife happy you can begin to work on the HOW. Remember, you won’t be able to make her completely happy but you have to try. She will appreciate the effort. Just remember that part of trying is messing up. If you don’t mess up you aren’t trying.