Ask yourself this simple question. What is the first thing that comes to your mind?
This blog post was inspired by the millionth time that I have been in a store and judged for LOOKING like I don’t have “
enough money” to make the purchase.
I guess I have psychological issues from my childhood until my young adulthood that I think I need to get over. Thankfully (not now), but for many years, I felt that I was not “good enough.” I think it started growing up in Pineville, Louisiana.
Pineville was a very clicky place to live and I was never apart of the “cool crowd.” I never got invited to high school parties. A typical weekend was hanging out at home or with a few friends at the mall or the movies. I never felt that I truly belonged in Pineville. When I think back to it, there was definitely a class system and I always felt that there were people who were snobby and just made others feel inadequate.
Pictures in elementary and junior high. I was an awkward looking kid. Maybe that was the part of the reason I didn’t feel “cool enough.”
High school was not that much better for the awkwardness.
I graduated from high school in three years and I just turned 17 when I started college. College was a different story. I immediately met some amazing girls and had the time of my life at USL in Lafayette, Louisiana.
Everything was fantastic. Life was soooooo good. However, when I was a junior in college, I got pregnant. My life turned upside down. It did not help anything that I was 19 and I looked like I was 12. My professors just looked at me with a sad face when they saw this “kid” who was obviously single and pregnant. This was not what I had envisioned my life to be. I immediately switched my major to teaching because as a single mom, I felt this would be the best career for my daughter and I.
I was very thankful that I was on my parent’s insurance. I remember being at Paige’s pediatrician office right after she was born. There was an older mom in the waiting room who kept looking at me with a disgust on her face. Finally she asked “how old are you?” I told her I was twenty years old. She wasn’t satisfied. She continued to give me that look of disgust. I wanted to tell her so bad “Don’t worry, your tax dollars will not be taking care of us. I am about to graduate from college with a teaching degree.” I was angry and sad. Why did this woman just look at me with disgust and act like I was white trash?
My second major snob moment (or judgmental moment) came right after I gave birth to William. I had been married for a couple of years and he was planned. My husband was an engineer and I was a teacher. The second pregnancy was much less stressful because I was married. Life was good. Paige was four and ready to be a big sister.
When I delivered William, we had not chosen a pediatrician. We had to use the pediatrician on call. When the pediatrician on call came into the room, my husband had just stepped out. I asked him if he was taking new patients because we were looking for a pediatrician. He looked at me and said “Yes, but I don’t take the medical card.”
My heart stopped. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I did EVERYTHING right this time. I was MARRIED and my husband and I both had good jobs. We had excellent insurance. I just stared at the doctor and was stunned. I DID NOT want to say to him “We are not on the medical card. We have excellent health insurance.” I was sick to my stomach. I just looked at him and said “Ok, thank you.” When he left the room I started to cry. I was sick to my stomach. I was so mad that this doctor treated me the same way I felt when I was in college. I immediately called my husband and said you have to come now.
Fast forward to today. Today was just a big mess. It was raining which meant that you had to have a special sheet to drop off the kids at Mothers Day Out. Corrin lost her sheet so she had to ride with me because I had my special rain drop off sheet. I told her I had a hair appointment so she could drop me off and then pick me up. I ended up getting my hair appointment time wrong and was an hour late.
After picking up the kids in the pouring rain, Corrin wanted to go and look at patio furniture for her outdoor area that was about to be done. She was in workout type of clothing with no makeup on. I didn’t get my hair fixed because of my time mishap so I was looking pretty rough myself. We showed up to the outdoor patio furniture store with Charlotte, Finley (both under 2 years old) and Sophia (5). There was one lady working there and you could tell she was completely aggravated that we were there. Sophia needed to use the bathroom and she was not nice at all when Corrin couldn’t figure out where the restroom was that she kept insisting on they had. The lady did not see Corrin walk up to her and instead started talking about us to another employee and was even rolling her eyes. Corrin could not believe this “employee” had the nerve to treat a prospective customer this way.
Meanwhile, I was walking around with the two babies. Usually sales people at furniture stores will stay with you as you try to figure out what you like. This lady stood at the front desk most of the time. We inquired about a table that seats ten. There was one table that was beautiful that we fell in love with. The only problem was that on top of the pricy table, each chair was $500! If you multiple that by ten, that is a lot of money! The woman was completely aggravated when I said there was no way Corrin was paying $500 for an outdoor table chair. You could tell in her head that she was thinking “These two girls can’t afford to be in here. They are completely wasting my time.” By this time, Corrin was over this place. She didn’t want to spend her money here. I had not given up because I didn’t feel like going to another place with her (ha ha). Ultimately we left and Corrin was so mad. Her feelings were hurt. I can tell that I am getting older because I didn’t care as much about that rude lady. If the price was right, I would have bought the furniture and just ignored her. You get to a point in your life that you have to evaluate the cost of your time. Corrin’s pride was much more important than her time. In the end, my time trumped my pride. I have five kids that I spend daily driving around to all of their activities. If a snobby woman wants to judge me and think I should not be there, that is her problem. Maybe she will feel sorry for me and add some money to my bank account. I always say that I get along much better with the ladies who shop at Goodwill with me than the ladies who shop at the Galleria. It is amazing, though, that I still to this day remember the days when I was pregnant and judged so harshly.
So I have two questions for you: 1) Are YOU a snob? 2) Have you ever been judged by someone who felt that you didn’t have enough money to shop at a certain store?