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The Perfect Marriage

The title of this blog post is of course a joke.  There is not such thing as a perfect marriage.  Brad and I are both on our second marriage so we of course are very far from being experts at the whole marriage thing….but I will say that we both have LEARNED a lot from our past and we are still learning everyday how to work on our marriage. 
Marriage tips (these are from my life lessons so you may not agree with them…that’s ok!  You aren’t married to me:)
    Always put God first and keep your faith your number one priority.


    Probably the most admirable characteristic of my husband is his faith in God.  I feel that if you keep that as your number one priority, you will have fewer problems.  Make faith a priority in your home.  Try to go every Sunday to church together.  Studies have shown that people who attend church together and pray together have a much lower rate of divorce than couples who don’t make God a priority in their lives. 
      Guard your marriage

      Don’t flirt with other people.  It is disrespectful.  If you have low self esteem, figure out a way to fix that.  Be kind to your spouse and pay attention to them.  If you are not paying attention to them, there will be others who will.  If you are always nagging your spouse, there will be others who won’t nag and your spouse may find themselves starting to get emotionally attached to them.

      Don’t be negative or mean

       Ask yourself, “Am I always complaining to my spouse?”  After working all day long, the last thing your spouse wants to hear is the negativity.  The other day I was talking to Brad on his way home.  I was complaining about everything.  He finally politely said “I have to go.”  I said “Is it because of me complaining for the last ten minutes?”  Him “Yes.”  I honestly did not blame him.  He has been working all day long very hard.  He has his own stresses with his job that he deals with and the last thing he needs is just negativity from me.  Always be nice to your spouse.  Treat your spouse the way you would want your daughter or son’s spouse to treat them. 
      Be madly in love with each other

        I believe that happiness is a choice.  You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be miserable.  I am madly in love with my husband.  Do I always feel this way?  No.

        However, I appreciate him and am thankful for him and so I hope that I will always say “I am madly in love with my husband.” 
        Don’t be selfish 

        Don’t be self centered and make everything about you.  I think a good marriage is about a healthy amount of taking and giving. 
        Keep courting each other and go on dates

        Even if you say “We don’t have the money for babysitters,” you need to find a way to make it happen.   There will always be an excuse as to why you can’t go on a date with your spouse.  Stop making the excuses and make it happen.  When you go on dates, keep them positive.  Don’t talk about negative things going on in life.   If you can make it happen, spend the weekend with just your spouse (and no kids).  If you don’t have money to go somewhere fun, stay at home. 

        Always have their back

        I love that Brad always has my back.  He takes up for me even if he probably shouldn’t.  I know that I can always count on him to have my back.  Don’t undermine your spouse.  Don’t go on face book and complain about him to other people. Would you appreciate your spouse doing that to you?

        Dream together 

          Talk about your dreams together.  Where would you love to travel with your spouse?  Where do you want to retire?  What would you love to do or learn with your spouse?
          Accept your spouse for who they are…..they are not changing

          People do not drastically change.  Did you marry a person that was a jerk?  Is it reasonable to think that by getting married that they will not be a jerk?  I think that you sometimes have to accept people for who they are.  I think there are some exceptions.  If you marry a person and then they cheat on you, I don’t think you have to just accept that as a reality. 
          Read The 5 Languages of Love

            This is a great book.  It will teach you and your spouse what your love language is and you can implement things for the other person based on it.  It is a very simple and fast read. 

            My question for you is this:  What is YOUR marriage or relationship tip?

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