- It’s easy
- It’s convenient
- You will meet people you would have never met
- You can be specific as to what you are looking for
It was the best decision of my life.
I was a single mom with two kids back in the dating world. I HATED being in the dating world but as my twin sister kept reminding me “You have to be in it to win it.”
Did I meet lots of guys?
Yes. I would meet guys on days that I did not have my kids. I would usually meet them for a cup of coffee or a drink. I never met them for dinner because I knew within one minute of meeting them if there was chemistry or not.
What kind of guys did I meet?
Most of the guys I met were super nice and clean cut professionals. A few of them were weirdos. One guy I had to block from my email and phone because he wouldn’t stop trying to contact me. I would say, though, that 99 percent of the meetings were good. I met some guys that were obviously not interested in me after the meeting and guys who I was not interested in. You can’t take it personal (hard to do) when you meet someone that is not “into you.” You don’t want to end up with someone who is not crazy about you. You deserve better. A few guys I remember going on multiple dates with:
- A French guy who was divorced and had two kids and a crazy ex wife. He was an engineer, was cute, and had a good job. After the third date, I couldn’t go out with him again because he wouldn’t stop touching me (hugging, holding hands, etc) when we were in public. It was weird. I’m not a PDA type of girl.
- A young professional who drove a Porsche convertible, lived in a cool part of town, and liked to hang out at Benjy’s (a restaurant in Houston). It is funny because my husband HATES Benjy’s. He thinks it is a place full of pretentious snobs. Porsche guy didn’t call me after date number three when he knew I was not putting out. I was on the hunt for a husband, not a fling.
- A guy who met me out for a drink and Corrin and Dave joined us. After a few drinks, he got on his knees in the parking lot and asked me to marry him. It was the weirdest thing ever. I was completely sober and Dave and Corrin just laughed. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t return his phone calls.
- The Fox producer: He was literally the first guy I dated after my divorce. He was such a nice guy. We dated for four months. We flew to Boston for vacation and I ended up getting Dave to give me an extra Southwest ticket so I could fly home early (without him). This was soooo terrible of me to do but I just wanted to be back home, alone, with my kids. He just had the misfortune of being the first guy I dated after my divorce and I needed to see what was out there because obviously I needed to be VERY careful (because of my kids).
Is it safe to online date?
Yes. You have to use the same common sense safety precautions that you use in regular dating situations. Always meet in public places and never give out your home address. Tell someone where you are going, what time, and have them check up on you.
Was their anything negative about online dating?
It can be overwhelming. Sometimes you meet several guys in a row who are duds and you think to yourself “I hate online dating and want to meet someone in regular life.” I would get off of match.com for a while and then get back on when I wanted to. Most of my friends were married so it is hard being the “only single girl.”
What was my criteria?
- They had to be my age or no older than ten years.
- They had to be a Christian (preferably a Catholic)
- They had to have a decent job (at least as good as my job as a teacher).
Did anyone ever lie?
One guy said he had no children but admitted to having two at our meeting. That was the biggest turnoff. Why would you not put that you have kids when you do?
Do I have any tips?
- Make sure you put recent photos of yourself (that you look your best). Guys will be VERY angry if they show up to meet you and you look nothing like your photos.
- Make sure that your profile is good. Be positive in it. Have your closest friends view it and give feedback.
- If you are not happy with the type of people who are contacting you, evaluate the situation. (Ex: You are looking for an extremely cute guy with a great personality. You are fifty pounds overweight. Lose the fifty pounds so you can feel better about yourself and attract guys you know you deserve. If you are in the dating world, you need to look your best. Figure out how you can do this.
- I reccomend Match.com because it is where I met my amazing husband. There are lots of dating sites out there. If you are looking for a husband, don’t go on hook up sites like Tender.
- Have high standards. Don’t date someone forever. If they are not asking you to marry them after two years of dating, dump them (unless you are young…when you are younger, you should date for longer). There are plenty of guys out there that would love to marry you after two years of dating.
- Match.com has added many new features since me meeting Brad eight years ago. Here is an article that explains some of the new features.
I know several people who are married because they have met on Match.com or EHarmony. Brad lived about an hour away from me so I am certain our paths would have never crossed. I will leave you with one of my most treasured things, the email where Brad asked me out on a real date after meeting me. We met at a wine bar and were having such a good time, we ended up going to another place that played live music so we could talk longer. I remember going home and hoping that he would ask me out on a date. I REALLY liked him and thought that we both had chemistry for each other. He even kissed me when he walked me to my car.