Let’s face it, life can be hard and very monotonous. Everyone has a different story of why they just can’t get it together at the moment. Life is life and it will always be hard and busy but you still have to suck it up and keep the mo-jo alive with your person.
What is mo-jo?
According to the internet, “mo-jo” is a magic charm, talisman, or spell.
I feel like I have credibility because I am almost forty years old (yikes!) and have had many life experiences. I have messed up a million times and luckily have been given several do overs. I am also lucky that the person that I ended up with, I am still crazy about. We have been together almost ten years and married almost eight….and we still are excited to be together. We put a lot of effort into “us” and it is a big payoff!
This blog was inspired by a recent trip we took to Cancun. It was four couples and it was for a long weekend. It was such a wonderful weekend because we hung out as a group but also hung out as couples for a lot of the time. At the end of the trip, I thought about why the trip was so successful. In the end, I decided that it was because all of the four couples continue to try to keep the “mo-jo” alive. Each are crazy about their person (and it is not perfect because life happens….) but ultimately I decided that the four couples just enjoy being together and laughing. They have fun and are thankful to get to live this life with their partner in crime (The Good, The Bad, The Ugly).
Top Ten Things For Keeping Your Mo-Jo Alive With Your Person
- Stop Making Excuses: There will always be a reason why you can’t do whatever (date night, trips, etc). There will never be enough (money, time, energy, etc). The list goes on and on. You have to make your relationship a priority. You must schedule a date night and put it on the calendar like you would do a doctor’s appointment. If you don’t schedule it, you will always find a way not to do it. Take turns planning the date nights! Start with once a month!!!! Do it RIGHT now!
(Advice from my friend: *****Schedule alone time without the kiddos to remember that awesome person you fell in love with ********Stop making everything groups with other families!!!!!! Schedule time alone with just your immediate family to remember the awesome unit you are. Family dates are AWESOME!!!!
- Think back to the beginning: ( Remember those random things you did in the “new stage?” (Trips, dates, gifts) Keep doing them!!! What does your person like?
- Go on weekend getaways! It doesn’t have to be fancy! Book a 4 star hotel on hotwire and have a staycation!!!! One night is fine! Just do it!
- If money is tight, do date nights at home. If you have young kids, get them to bed early and start your date night. If you have older kids, feed them and send them upstairs to watch a movie. You need this time to hang out and feel like a real couple! (cook together, play a game, talk, etc)
- Figure out your person’s love language. If you have not read the 5 Languages of Love, read it. Make your person read it too. Corrin says her love language is cleaning. If Dave does any type of cleaning, she is madly in love. Brad’s love language is acts of service. Anything I do to make his life easier, he loves. Figure what your persons is and do it.
- Find a show to watch together. Find something that you both enjoy that you can watch at least once a week together and have fun “connecting.” If you have nothing in common, take turns choosing the show. (Brad and I binged watched Broadchurch…one of our favorite shows ever).
- Do something outside of your comfort zone. Don’t like writing love letters or notes? Oh well! Just do it! I love it when Brad leaves me a random note on the counter when I wake up or when he sends me a random sweet text during the day. These things are FREE and will go a long way. I usually get a note when Brad is going on a business trip….OR if we were arguing the night before….because I want to resolve it before we go to bed…but he can fall fast asleep FAST….but the he GETS that I am probably still mad….so he writes a sweet note….even though he may not mean it….lol..
- Find a hobby to do together. If you have nothing in common, find something you both enjoy to do. If you hate each other, please go to therapy and sort yourselves out.
- Play games: There are different games you can play as a couple that are fun! Idea for a date night. If it is your turn planning the date night fun a recipe to cook. You and your person can drink a bottle of wine as you are cooking your meal. I loved when Brad and I were dating and every Wednesday night he would show up in his suit to my townhouse with ingredients to a great meal and a bottle of wine. We had so much fun talking as he was cooking and then enjoying the bottle of wine. After your meal, you can play a fun game. We like to play Rumikub. It is a great game for two people.
- JUST DO IT! I’m going to go back to number one and reiterate that you just have to do it. Whatever your situation is, SORT YOURSELF OUT. If you need advice, ask a relative. You can email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I will help you think of something fun given your situation.
Sidenote: Things ARE NOT perfect in my life. Brad and I do have arguments and sometimes don’t like each other (We love each other….don’t always like each other). I’m not going to pretend that it is blissful 24/7. We did talk about this blog and both decided that there are a few non-negotiables.
- Respect: You have to be respectful of the other person whether you agree with them or not.
- Positive: You have to try and be positive. One of my life mottos is to FIGURE IT OUT. Don’t say you can’t. Figure it out! You can have date nights and spend zero money. Be positive and go with what you have (good, bad, ugly). Make a promise to only be positive on dates.
- Laugh: Laughter is the best medicine.
- If you think the grass is greener on the other side it is not. Be appreciative of what you have and stop daydreaming about what you think could be better. Make what you do have better. If you are with a cheater, just dump them. You can do better.
- Hire a babysitter even if you can’t afford it. Figure it out. Go without a Starbucks coffee or pedicure.
My question for you: What advice did I miss?