Rid the people in your life who are not fanning your flame.
What? I recently read a quote from Will Smith that I will post it later in the blog. The jist of it is that you need to surround yourself with people who help you become a better a person and rid those who don’t. Before we list qualities we just want to point out that it is ok to not be close friends with everyone. People should seek out relationships with people that they have things in common (moral compass, spiritual, interests, family dynamics).
One of the things we always joke about is that we aren’t for everyone. Believe it or not, we get on some people’s nerves! They would not want to be stuck with us during recess.
Here are some of the qualities of the people you should keep around.
- They are kind….all of the time.
- They are happy for you in your successes and cheer you on.
- They are positive.
- When you are not around them, they are only saying positive things about you to other people.
- They are secure in your friendship. If you see them once every five years or once every week, they still cherish your friendship.
- They seek to be happy in their own lives and with themselves.
- They stay away from drama and negativity.
- They give people the benefit of the doubt.
- If they do something nice for you, it’s because they genuinely want to…no strings attached.
- They respect boundaries and don’t make you feel guilty when you can’t do something or just don’t want to do something.
Christa loves her friend Carrie who lives across the street because the friendship is so easy. If Carrie invites her over for a glass of wine and she doesn’t feel like it, Carrie doesn’t make her feel bad. She understands.
We have a childhood friend Nana that we have just seen for the first time in ten years. Imagine my delight that I am seeing her in four weeks for spring break. We just pick up where we left off!!!
In conclusion, we have such little extra time each day. Be thoughtful and surround yourself with people who fan your flame.
Here is Will Smith’s quote:
“I just saw this Rumi quote that I love – ‘Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames,’” Smith said. “The Philly translation of that is, don’t be hanging with no jank-ass jokers that don’t help you shine. The prerequisite for spending time with any person is that they nourish and inspire you. They feed your flame.
“Look at your last five text messages. Are those people feeding your flames, or dousing your fire? Put your phone down for just a second and look around. Look to the people around you. Are those people throwing logs on your fire — or are they pissin’ on it?
“The people that you spend time with are going to make or break your dreams. Everybody don’t deserve to be around you. You’ve got to defend your light with your life. So who are the people in your life that are fanning your flames? Shout ‘em out. Tag them below.”
Our question for you, are there any qualities we missed that you can add?